My Blogger Weekend

On the Way to the BBQ

1. Woke up at 10am, showered, shaved, dressed and was on the road by 10:15
2. Ate a nasty ass gas station chicken samich (im pretty sure it was seagull) and drank 3 Rockstars
3. Watched a dog jump out of the bed of a speeding truck
4. Saw a guy on a bike face plant while trying to do an endo in traffic
5. Drove through a 6.1 earthquake and didn’t even feel it
6. Got passed like I was standing still by a fucking minivan while I was going around 115 mph
7. Sent 20,000 bugs to their final resting place….my windshield
8. Had the same guy following me on the freeway for around 200 miles
9. Was kinda upset when he finally exited … I felt like we bonded
10. Arrived in Grace and Steve’s place at 3pm and promptly downed my first of many beers

@ The BBQ

1. Met Mike, Nina, and LE for the fist time.
a.Mike is like the frat brother that I never had
b.Nina is cool as fuck and swears like a sailor with Torrets which makes her that much cooler
c. Didn’t talk to LE much because she was making out with her man the whole time ;P… Just playin. LE is awesome and has the coolest glasses ever.
Mel and Jeanette were there also... like I said.... both HOT!
2. Watched part of Howls Moving Castle… someone was on some serious acid while making that movie
3. Learned that Mike is in fact the Illest…. he has the shirt to prove it
4. Shot myself in the eye with a Coors while preparing to shotgun it
5. Shotgunned the Coors right the fuck up my nose
6. Learned my new favorite word from Nina… the word is Tunaloaf. As in “I hate that fucking Tunaloaf bitch”… Spread the news!
7. Watched Mel “spit snot out of her nose”
8. Learned that Mel already had tickets to the gun show
9. Ate some Costco cheesecake…it was delicious
10.Almost got to see Mel in a bikini but Grace ruined it by passing out… thanks Grace ;P

The Ride Home

1. Determined that listing to a comedy CD in the car while in heavy traffic is not the best way to convince people your sane.
2. Accidentally tried to play an video CD Steve burned in my car deck…it didn’t work
3. Ate a bag of cheddar cheese goldfish, a banana, some cheezeits, a brioche, and a mini pound cake on the way home. Thanks again for the healthy snacks Grace
4. Ran over a fucking wooden barrel… Im still trying to figure WTF a wooden barrel doing in the middle of the freeway. I didn’t even know they still made wooden barrels
5. Almost got into a fight with an old lady that swooped on my gas pump
6. Dodged a mattress that flew out the back of a truck
7. Played lets see how far I can drive using only my knees
8. My record is 115 miles… beat that high score fuckers!
9. Saw a bird get obliterated by a semi
10.Had both of my ass cheeks fall asleep on me at the same time

Thanks again Steve and Grace... As always I had a great time!