10 Things Monkeys Can Do That People Cant

1. Masturbate in public
2. Have a hairy back and chicks still consider them cute
3. Go to a funeral naked and cheer people up
4. Wear a diaper into their late into their 20s and it be perfectly acceptable
5. Urinate on their boss without getting fired
6. Throw poop
7. Dance with a funny little hat to an organ grinder…and make money in the process
8. Throw poop
9. Climb a skyscraper kidnap a women, then knock airplanes out of the sky with their bare hands
10. Commit any crime and have it be considered adorable

“Ohh.. look at the cute little monkey carrying a 10lb brick of hash…how darling”

“Awweee…look at that monkey, it just stabbed that elderly women in the ear with a screwdriver…isn’t that sweet?”

“Look at the silly monkey mommy… it just stole that mans wallet and bit his cheek off, can we take it home?

*Sigh* ..What I wouldnt give to be a monkey