My week thus far (For Mel and Grace)

1. Dropped 500 lbs. on my shin…I now have a third knee
2. Was outsmarted by a Bowflex
3. Farted on my sisters arm
4. Learned that I cannot successfully perform a Hadooken
5. Convinced my 96 year old aunt that I was President of the United States
6. “Accidentally” kicked my 96 year old aunts cane out from under her... ( she deseved it…shes a mean old lady and she would have done the same thing to me if given the chance)
7. Was bitch slapped by Nana…twice
8. Found out old people can hit pretty fucking hard if provoked…she hit me in the eye with her ring to boot
9. Called my dad a “fat whore”
10.Got me a date tomorrow…fuck yeah!...its about damn time!