Questions From Grace

Last fucking time I ever agree to play in one of Grace's games ;P

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1. how old were you when you got your first woody?

How the fuck am I supposed to know? Ive been pitching tents for as long as I can remember. Its not like a boner one day and wrote it down in my diary.

Deer Dieary ;

Tuday my pee pee got hard fore no reezun. I hope I dunt dye!

You should have asked me when I discovered masturbation. I have that fucking date committed to memory. I send my hand flowers and chocolates for its anniversary every year.

2. have you ever had a 3some? please. expound. (muwahaha.)

There...are...I said there are...so many amendments in the constitution of the United States of Americaaaaaaaaaa. If I can only choose one! If I can only choooooose oooooonnnne! I plead the fif! *pound pound* I plead the fif! * pound pound*
Five! One, two, three, four, fiiiiiiiiiif! Anything you say fiiiiiiiiiif! Go ahead ask me a question……..fiiiiiiiif!

3. would you rather take it in the ass from a small-dicked man or from a SUPER HOT CHICK with an english accent with a VERY LARGE strap-on?

I hate you so much Grace ;p …That one is easy though…Id take it from the SUPER HOT English chick. You see if I were to take it up the poop shoot from a Super Hot chick with a strap-on I would technically still be considered heterosexual. And as we all know I would rather be beaten to death with wet fallopian tubes than be considered a gay.

4. what's your favorite flavor of cheesecake?

Fuck… now that’s though question! … Um Id have to say cherry… no strawberry… no no mango. Fuck who am I kidding you can put some pigs feet on a piece of cheesecake and I wouldn’t turn it down.

5. what's the proudest moment in your life?

How the fuck did this question get in here? OK this is going to be really sappy so be prepared.

I was about 14 and my grandpa and I were playing our weekly game of dominoes. My Nano and I really didn’t have much in common except for dominoes…in fact we were complete opposites. We would constantly butt heads over the smallest things… but when we played a game of bones together it was like none of that mattered. In the hundreds of games we had played I maybe won once or twice by a small margin. But these small wins were enough to keep me coming back for more week after week.

This week had started like all the rest before it. The first two games were close but in the end Nano came out the victor. It was our 3rd or 4th game and it was like the domino gods had smiled upon me. I could do no wrong. I ended up completely decimating Nano for the next 7 games. We were both in shock… I never gloated once and he never said a word… just smiled.

After that game he took me into the garage (his sanctuary) reached into one of his tool cupboards and pulled out a box wrapped in a dirty cloth. He put the box in my hand and proceeded to tell me how proud he was of me and that he was glad he could be around to see me become such a good man. I then unwrapped the box and opened it to find a set of ivory and gold dominoes staring back at me. That was the first and last time in my life that I have cried from being so happy.

Looking back on it I think I knew then why he was giving me the dominoes. I knew he was passing me the patriarchal torch, and I guess we both knew that he didn’t have that long left. I had no idea that those were the last moments that I would get to spend with him though. Nano died 2 days later.

So there ya go … that was the proudest moment of my life… corny I know. But you asked.