Dirty Water

Well I was going to write a review of the San Diego Comic Con that I went to this last weekend. But since Im a lazy fucker Im just going to post a link to Steve's review since he wrote one about 10,000 times better than I could. However I will leave you with this little gem.
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It was on a Sunday about two months ago. The night before had been spent getting tanked, breaking shit, and passing out in my car-port for a couple hours. I didn't realize the extent of my hangover until my roommate left the house slamming the front door on his way out. It was like someone hit me in the face with a wet boot...it fucking hurt like a sonofabitch! Alas I had gone out that night knowing full well what the morning had in store for me, so being the genius that I am the only thing I had scheduled that day was some marathon cartoon watching.

Around noon I poured myself out of bed, grabbed a blanket, put on my Homer slippers and hunkered down for some Cartoon cartoons. After about 3 hours of The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy, Kids Next Door, and Teen Titans I began to get hungry...it was then I realized I had not one fucking stitch of food in my house (except for some beer) Now being the lazy hung-over fuck that I am instead of going to the store or a fast food place to buy food, I drove my ass over my parents house so Nana could make me a sandwich.

When I got to my parents house the only person there was Nana. Mom and Dad had gone to spend the day at an Indian casino, while my sister and her boyfriend shopped in San Francisco. This meant that Nana and I could now watch the Sci-Fi channel on the big screen without anyone bitching at us... after she made my samich that is.

I don't know why but as we were watching movies I had the sudden urge to clip my toe nails. I mean they weren't eagle claws or anything yet... but they could definitely use a little bit of trimming. So I grabbed the clippers and started to trim my nails right there in the living room while watching a rerun of some lame Sci-Fi channel movie. Now Im no slob... so instead of letting my toe nails fly all over the living room, I clipped them one by one and dropping them into a half empty water bottle I had brought with me.

A few hours later my buddy Chris calls to invite me for sushi later that night. Im not one to pass up sushi do I head out leaving the bottle behind. I eat an ungodly amount of sushi that night, go home and pass out in front of the TV watching some more cartoons.

Around 12am I get a phone call

Unknown caller: YOU MOTHER FUCKER!!!!... IM GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!!!
Me: Ummm ... who is this?
Unknown caller: ITS CINI!!! (my sister)
Me: Oh ...hey cin.. what did I do now?
Cini: I came home From San Fran and I was in the living room watching TV...I got thirsty and I didn't want to go to the kitchen to get a drink, so I grabbed the water bottle on the coffee table.
Me: *giggle*
Cini: I took a sip and it tasted like toe... So I took another sip and I swallowed one of your fucking toenails!
Me: Wait.... you took another sip after the first sip tasted like toe?
Cini: yeah
Me: You're an idiot go to sleep