Cupcakes, Back Flips, and Boogers

1. I was thinking…I wonder if a Japanese kid was the first one to call a Cray Fish a Crawdad… “Hey rook they have sucha rittle craw Dad.”
2. Was hit in the back of the head with a shoe…that just so happened to be attached to someone’s foot
3. Proceeded to stick that same shoe up that someone’s ass
4. Ate the Burger King Eggnormous Omelet Sandwich for breakfast
5. Had a heart attack 5 minutes later (those fucking things have 1000 cals and 70 grams of fat)
6. Got ditched by my dad when I went to hang out with him on Fathers day
7. Ate the cupcakes my sister made him just to spite him
8. Determined I can no longer do a backflip
9. Learned that it is not a good idea to honk your horn at a policeman even if he does look like your friend
10. Learned that it really isnt a good idea to tell that police man he has a booger in his nose…even if you are just trying to help

Fart Flavor of the Day: Broccoli and toothpaste