10 Things I Did Today

Monday, June 06, 2005

Skittles, Turds and Curly Fries

1. Smacked my friend in the crotch with a pool cue
2. Saw a fat drunk chick tackle her waiter and pillage his lifeless body for an order of curly fries
3. Watched an old lady run a stop light get pulled over and then drive into a ditch
4. Pooed out a turd in the shape of the Virgin Mary…(I’m totally going to hell for that one)
5. Realized that I was going to hell long before the Virgin Mary dookey
6. Discovered the words Pooed, Turd, and Dookey are not in the Microsoft Word Dictionary
7. Blew a snot bubble
8. Hit a co-worker in the tooth with a grape Skittle
9. Stuck my finger into a moving PC fan to see if it was still working…it worked…and it fucking hurt
10. Realized that I have no supervisor at work for the next 2 months…Party in my cube!!!!


Fart Flavor of the Day: Burnt marshmallow and anchovies

22 Comments:

  • Tell me the honest truth because I have yet to hear it....what is it with guys and looking at their crap?!?!Is it just to break a personal best?
    Snot bubbles are hilarious....my kids have done it before...Although on a grown man, it might not be as funny....

    By Blogger Jaded Maniac, at 4:43 PM  

  • Honestly...its to check to see if they resemble any religious and historical figures. I have also crapped out poo that looked like JFK and 2 out of the 3 wise men.

    And yes... snot bubbles are still as funny if done by a grown man

    By Blogger Kiss Me Im Italian, at 4:53 PM  

  • party in your cube, indeed!

    maybe it's spelled dookie? have you tried various spellings??? hehe...

    dude. i totally want some curly fries now.

    By Blogger grace, at 5:29 PM  

  • why are you examining your poo?

    fart has a smell, not a flavor. ew. i'm gonna puke.

    By Blogger Kis Lee, at 5:59 PM  

  • OMG...I totally almost blew out a snot nose thingie too while reading your post...all from laughing. you're are such a dork Lar....i don't know about all that poopoo stuff though...hrm.....

    By Blogger AmerAzn, at 11:44 PM  

  • LOL Ewwww! Gross... :P

    I was laughing about the curly fry pillaging. Good stuff, Lar ;)

    By Blogger Quyen, at 12:15 PM  

  • Barbs just shit out the third wiseman last night. A life size version....

    By Blogger Jaded Maniac, at 3:42 PM  

  • Julie..you promised you wouldn't tell!~!~!~! *wink wink*

    By Blogger AmerAzn, at 3:53 PM  

  • Grace: Ahhh fuck me... I mispelled dookie. Im gonna go hang myself now

    I almost fought that fat bitch for her frys. She would have beat my ass though so I didnt

    LE: All guys look at their poo... its a proven fact

    Barb: Snot bubbles are fun for the whole family. Poo is cool!

    Q: See.. .and you wanted me to ditch the 10 things format ;P

    JM: Im jealous now... I sat on the crapper for hours trying to get that third wiseman out

    Barb: Did you take a picture? ;P

    By Blogger Kiss Me Im Italian, at 4:57 PM  

  • I once crapped a perfect cube. I've been trying to remember the previous day's diet ever since.

    By Blogger Mike, at 3:43 PM  

  • i call b.s. on the cube poo. ridiculous!

    By Blogger Kis Lee, at 10:44 AM  

  • I now have a hank-rin for some burnt marshmellows. shit. I loves me some a dem marshmellows.

    By Blogger duckie, at 10:37 PM  

  • Mike: You are my new hero... Ive been trying to crap a perfect cube for years. All I seem can seem to muster are rhomboids

    Duckie: Imagine my suprise when I farted burnt marshmellow... I havent had a marshmellow in months

    By Blogger Kiss Me Im Italian, at 3:47 PM  

  • that's some crazy shit . . .

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